Thursday, January 21, 2010

Lesson 7:The Hangover...

This time im nt going to start the post with the usual dialouge...it has become so boring..so instead for a change this time im going to crack a joke...u knw its a dangerous task to crack a joke after telling everyone that ur going to tell one...anyway im taking tat risk..this joke was atfirst told by balettan...last month wen we went to Silent Valley balan was with us..and every time balan used to tell us he is gng to tell a comedy..and believe me he was telling the most pathetic jokes one cud ever hear...pinne amare ine okke pole workshopil maranaaa comedy erakkan ulla kazhiv pavam balan illallo..anyway as a last hope balan told us he will tell one more joke..athum desp anel ee paripadi avan avasnipikkum ennu...we told balan dont be so desp..koora anel appo thanne chellakk kittum ennu...So balan gt this joke from one of our seniors.. and im adding a little more masala to it so as to get a good punch...so it goes like this..

One of our seniors is staying in mumbai with some of his frnds..one day while dey were having a party at home ,his roomie brings with him a frnd of his...so this roomies frnd comes ,joins the party and after some pegs started cracking jokes...jokes almost similar to balan's..and this guy was telling joke abt his frnds..like "u knw i have frnd der who did this".."one frnd here who gt into this"..like tat...so kure kazhinjappole everyone became desp and this guy is not stopping either..so this guy talks again "U knw i have frnd ..he does something gr8..he can crush a dry fruit with his hand and he throws the shell outside and throws the nut into his mouth and he does this pretty fast...so one day wat happens is he does the trick bt accidently throws the nut outside and the shell into his mouth "... (PJ).....telling this the guy starts laughing...ellavarum katta desp....at this point the senior starts talking and he says.."Ethonnum valya karayam alla...U knw i have a frnd in chennai who used to smoke while travelling in local train...and on seeing the TTR this guy throws the cigg outside and get inside the train and he does it pretty fast...bt one day wat happened is TTR came so suddenly that this guy threw the cigg inside the train and jumped out of the train ..." :P

I donno whether u ppl call it a joke or a chalu..bt next time if u c Akshay Kumar or Paresh Rawal jumping out of train after throwing the cigg inside, in some Priyadarshan Movie....feel proud bcz this joke was made by one of our seniors... ;) So tat concludes the joke session..speaking of jokes if i analyse the humor sense ...dasan has the ability to crack spontaneous jokes..AC cracks gr8 jokes bt laughs at his own jokes...bajo cracks jokes only if gets some benefit :P...mootappa tells some classic stuffs..(like patt etto pakshe chellakk adikkum)....amar cracks jokes only if he is in workshop...i dont have very gud sense of humor bt i can explain someone else jokes very well and considering explaining a joke aman is the most pathethic one to do tat...tats bcz he hears a joke in malayalam...understands in english..and while explaining he has to do the reverse...and ayyan ,saji and Doni dont crack jokes they just do normal things which inturn turns into classic comedies...like ayyans dia "Eda e kaniyapuram nammal vicharicha pole athra cheriya bus stand alleda :P"..

Now no more jokes ..coming back to our topic "The Hangover"...almost everyone might have understood whats in my mind... of course "Vellamadi"..this time ill try to write the post in English as much as possible..u knw y...bcz the vellamdai thing is much more stylish in English than in malayalam..If u still have a diff opinion lets do a demo (as Aamir Khan tells in 3 idiots)...next time when u meet any stylish mallu girl that u knw....just go to her and tell.."Edo ennale van kidialam arunnu...vellamadichu vellamadichu vaalu veekkarayi"...if ur lucky u can even score a gud slap..at the same time if u go to the same girl and tell "Dei...yest was a pretty wild night..i boozed so hard that i almost puked!!!.."..im sure in 90% cases nothing will happen and if ur lucky u might get back a smile :P... bcz most mallus (girls and boyz) only knows the pronunciation of these kind of words..very few knows wat that actually means...so my advice to ppl who talk fluent english (like mootappa)...next time when to talk to ppl like Kuthira or AC try to avoid talking in English or atleast avoid these kind of stylish words...bcz if Kuthira or AC hear these kind of words like "Puke" "Booze" "Fag" ...they might misinterpret it as something gr8...so u might even c next time Kuthita uploading pics in orkut or flicker with title as "Puke" ( avante chila pics inu apt comment is Puke..bt im nt gng into such details )...or AC uploading his supposedly existing gf s pic with comment as "Kewl and boozed" which can lead to unimaginable havoc...speaking of ACs English ..if u ever get a chance to chat with him in messenger dont miss it..bcz the guy who used to talk like "Aliyaa Cigg undoda"..nw talks "Oh ma gwadd"..."ma very busy uknaw"...b4 when he was surprised he used to tell "Aliyyaaa Desssspp"...and now he tells only "Ohhh Miraaaa"...(u can check his orkut album for proof)...

So my whole drinking story starts from S4..when bajo poured me the first peg in my life...tat night i drank some 3-4 pegs bt nothing happened actually and i was feeling much better...as i cud talk more...more and more ideas come to ur mind...in all these vellamdi partied ppl discuss topic ranging from "wat tat gal wore today ".. to "how can we launch one more satellite in our orbit"...I guess these kind of parties are the brooding ground of ideas....so first peg as i said in my earlier post ..still i remember it...my next confrontation with a bottle came in our class tour when we went to Goa...this time it was vodka and we were around 5-6 ppl...in goa one bottle of mineral water cost 25 Rs but 1 bottle of beer costs just 20 Rs...since i already had my first peg it wud be an insult for me to go back to beer again..so i thot dont spoil ur image drink vodka no more beer..so we started the whole party sitting on the sands of goa enjoying the night and the cool sea breeze...tat was amazing..we finished one bottle...bought 1 more finished tat one also..and me and some one else i guess mathew...was crying for one more peg (marana kick ayal u feel crying..its a fact)...experienced ppl like AC and bajo told us its enuf..bt we didnt listen...bot 1 more bottle and started drinking..almost around 6-7 pegs...then suddenly some one started the topic "Day schi and Mhite"....i drank one more peg and i wanted to say something.. i said "enikk oru karayam parayan undu"..every time i raised my hand like we raised our hands to answer something while we were in school...school not college..in college we didnt even mind to raise our head from the desk :P....so i shouted and shouted ...bt no one listened ..suddenly some one said "Let him talk ..he wants to say something"..i became happy i said "Enikk oru karayam parayan undu"...pinne enikk bodham varumbo i was in hotel room...ac sitting near me watching TV..i felt like i was going to die...i started crying ...donno wat to do..Appo Ac told me valu vechal shari akum..i went to the bathroom...puked ..puked so hard tat i thot my stomach and liver wud come out of my mouth...bt i felt relieved ..i came back and told AC "This is desp ..My parents had sent me to study...and nw im drinking...now its over.. I promise no more drinking"...Saji JTO ayal njan raji vekkum enu pranja pole ..this also i have kept my word...;).. Pinnedu ulla parties i dont remember them all...My advice to any fresher in the field of boozing is that for the first few parties just measure urself...how much u can drink...wats ur capacity...wats the LOC for u drinking maximum without puking...i remeber kunjali ..next day after a vaal night telling me "Enthu desp sadhanam ada ethu...e alukal okke engane ethu kudikunnu"...some time ago i heard that he still have that opinion..bt only after finishing his 5th peg....and during the last vaal night i puked thrice and tats my all time record...eppo drinking has become some official thing..no one drinks a lot....and i have stopped drinking also :(......bt one good thing abt drinking is that like hutch adv "where ever u go our n/w follows" ...like wise if u can drink "where ever u go ur frnds follows"..


So before concluding... one more fact..
when we joined first year 99% of ppl believed in the evils of drinking...alcohol destroys ur liver..kidney..heart and even ur families....bt right now almost 95% ppl think that they were wrong ;)...some T's still hold their opinion..bt my opinion is Alcohol is really really injurious to health...as u can c in all bottles ranging from Rum to Whiskey they have printed this fact in bold letters...bt i believe leaving all ur frnds behind simply bcz they drink...and spending ur time with a bunch of retards who discuss about the breach in diplomatic relation b/w china and india or cracks jokes abt the change in o/p wavefrom if u short circuit the pins of IC 8086(is 8086 an IC??) ....is far far injurious...

so from all these points we can conculde..

LHS=RHS

Hence Proved...!!!!!


Friday, January 8, 2010

Lesson 6:My First Kiss

So as usual this post also starts with the same words..."I am writing this post after a long time"..U know now a days life has become too busy...e divasangal okke ethra pettanu kadannu poyal nammal enthu cheyyum...2day i was telling my frnd....we are all pakka fools..bcz schoolil arunnappol we wished to join colg...colg join cheythappo we wished we were at school...colg arikkumbo we wished to get a job...wen joined for a job...now we want to go back to colg...now some of my friends have started updating their status as committed ....hoping that their life will become betr when a girl comes...trust me after getting married most ppl will think how gud was bachelor life...bt life is point of no return...as i was telling mootappa abt this committed thing..avan parayuvarunnu avan mathre ullu eppo glamour ullavarude kootathil pidi kodukathe single ayi nadakunne ennu...no comments for this from my side...AC parayunne mootappede veetil kannada ella ennanu...chilappo arikkum...

So im not deviating from my topic ...so tat was all abt 1st year thing...den comes s3...wen we joined the college somebody was telling us...S3 akumbo ur percentage will reduce drastically...on hearing this someone, Doni or Amar was telling ...nallonam padichal angane onnum undavilla..even we can score more than wat we scored in 1st year...sangathi shari anu..bt der is a problem in it ...the problem is "nallonam padichal"...nallonam padichal markku vangamarunu...athanu...nallonam padikkanam...padichirunel vangamarnnu...athanu....angane ethayalum nallonam padichathu kondu van improvement ayi...my percentage INCREASED from 80 to 73%..pinne entheduthalum eppol free alle..so 73% inte koode i got 1 supply free...I still remember that day..wen i entered the EC circuit lab...most ppl were expecting RC coupled amplifier as the lab question...bt that year RC coupled amplifier was asked only a very few times...i entered the lab...external nammude mugathu nokilla...internal enne nokki kalippil..oru slip eduthittu a moolakku pokko.....e adutha edakk i went to calicut beach...avide e kaynottakkar thattaye kondu cheetu edupikkunna oru parupadi undu..nangalude labum enthandu athu pole anu...enthayalum njan sakala daivangaleum manasil vicharichu took one slip...eduthondu moolakku poyi erunnu..slip thurannthum enthoo oru sadhanam varachu vechekunu...oru sine wavinte mukal bhagam vetti..thazathe bhagam neeti..pinne valachu...enthandu aksharam ezuthan padikkunna kuttial slateil ezuthiya pole undu...enthu cheyyanam ennu oru pidiyum illa...appo aro paranju thannu athil clipperum clamparaum undu ennu...so i thot atleast athengilum cheyyam ..partial output akumallo...avansam enganokkeyo cheythu arude okkeyo bhagyam kondu a kuthivaracha polathe wave inte paktuhi njan undakki...appo thanne externaline vilichu..."Sir output"...appo nammal e externaline daivathe pole anu kanunne...pulli enne nokki..pinne wave ine nokki..kure neram evide okkeyo pidcihu thirichu..enitt paranju..."Ok,
partial output..ezuthikko ennu"...ethu kettathum internal ninna maaaddaamm evide ninno chadi veenu ...at 1st i thot ho..evar ethu mikkavarum full output akki tharaum...erangumbo oru thanks parayanam ennu...internal vannu enne nokki..pinne o/p...kure neram nokitt exteranalinodu ..
"Sireee ethu paratial polum illallo...avide full o/p kittiya piller undallo"...ethilum nalla reethiyil engane para vekkanam ennu eppozhu enikk ariyilla...external enne nokki ..njan van dayaneeyamayi paranju..."Sir..partial o/p elle...njan ezuthikotte"...Pulli udane..."Nikk ezuthan varatte.."..pinne avide evidem okke pidichu thirichu..enitt..."aaa..ethu o/p alla...ene 15 min samayam undu pettanu onnude nokk.."...i felt crying..bt onnum parayan patilla ..I tried my level best....oru rakshayum illa..udane vannu internalinte adutha dia "Kaatt adichal onnum o/p varilla."..pinne padikkunathine patti kure dia.....i became katta desp..nt because tat i didnt get the o/p...or internal screwed my lab...i felt desp wen i saw the same internal madam helping a buji in our class to get the o/p...enthayalum wen the results came i got 13 out of 100...still i wonder for wat did they give me 13 marks...S3 result vannappo almost all ppl from MH flunked in lab..Aman got 6..Ac 4..bijo 8..ayyan 4...saji 5 ..everyone got digit mark...i was happy because thottavarude kootathil njan anallo midukkan..i managed to get 13...

Enthayalum after that thing i realized one fact...lab pass avanel onnegil oru buji avanam allel odukathe bhagyam venam...i chose the 2nd one...so from tat day onwards lab exam date inte annu i will go to temple...ore bhakthi maragam anu...bt s3 mathre ullarunu e tension...trust me EC lab exam ennu paranjal its a mega comedy event...particularly the viva session..i just want to jot down a few award winning and very talented answers from our lab exam sessions..

Scene 1:
Examiner(E) :Wat is Rom?
Aman:Sir athu Italy ile oru sthalam alle.. (End result :Supply)

Scene 2:
After getting fed up with mootappas answers atlast examiner told mootappa:
Look Rishal ill gv u an adivce...e pariksha ennu parayunnthu oru mutta pole anu..athu nilath veenal potti povum...
Mootappa:Enna pinne vere oru mutta vangicha pore Sir
Examiner:Enna than puthiya oru muttayum ayi adutha vattam vaa...(Supply)

Scene 3:
Examiner to Me:Expand ASCII code
Me:All Scientific Corporation.........mmmm
Examiner :Enuffffff....(Supply)

Scene 4:
Examiner to Saji:How many bit is ASCII code?
Saji:No idea Sir
E:Make a guess
Saji:Athu ente arivil oru pathu..erupathanchu bit kanumm
E:Bha @!@!##(Trust me examiner avane theri vilichu)

Scene 5:
Examiner to Jake:Oru q utharam paranjal thanne njan pass akkam..Sagar Alias Jakki ..ethu padathile anu
Jake:20tham noottandu
E:Correct (bt still Jake gt supply for that)

Scene 6:
Examiner to Vinayan after seeing his 4 wheeler robot..or some crap like that :
Wat will happen if u remove one wheel from that machine
(Examiner was expecting something related to its sensors and motion)
Vinayan:Sir oru wheel mattiyal athu Auto Ayi odikkam .. :( :(
Thank God the examiner didnt cry...

Scene 7 the ultimate one
Examiner to Ayyan after getting fed up:Ill make u pass...bt answer 3 questions correctly
Q1:How many semesters are there in Btech?
Ayyan:8
Q2:Spell the word Resistance
Ayyan:Res..Res...Res...
ok last Q3:Write down word Electronics and Communication

Im not writing wat ayyan wrote...bcz last week koodi wen i called him he was telling this ..still he thinks Electronics have 2 "T"s and Communication has only one "M"...

There are million other incidents similar to those i qouted above are left..bt i cud recollect only this much...anyway thats all about our labs...Before concluding ..For those MH ites who live in North India right now a very glad news is there..bcz somebody told me the biggest reality show in Indian Television is about to commence soon...mostly by Feb/March..Like wat Rakhi Sawant did ...somebody among us is going to get married through reality show...its called "Saji Ki Vivah"...If we are very very lucky we can watch the show..bcz rumors are there that some one has already offered Saji half of Burj dubai as dowry..

Last bt not least u must be wondering y i put the title of this post as My First Kiss..bcz a Btech Student seldom forgets his First Supply ..First Peg and First Kiss...me still waiting for the latter.... :P